


ellie enchanted

by Tarredion



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Self-Doubt, new child, parent!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22619668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarredion/pseuds/Tarredion
Summary: Dan and Phil go to pick up their adopted child
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	ellie enchanted

**Author's Note:**

> for Mirian! - oh and please let me know if there are any concerns with anything, including tags or formatting etc

Phil could feel his hands tremble. Dan’s fingers that were intertwined with his own shook as well, and sweat poured from every pore on his body, making his bright blue shirt cling to his skin.

He didn’t understand why he was looking into it as much as he was. 

They were fine, Dan was fine, he was fine, and their adopted child wasn’t going to absolutely despise him as soon as she saw him. And yet his anxiety decided this was the optimal time to break down and worry, while they were huddled up in Martyn’s car only a few blocks away from the adoption centre. 

The streetlamps whizzed past outside. In the dull, dim London morning they were a sea of will-o’-the-wisps dancing through the darkness and the mist, nesting atop the strangest places and making themselves seem rather at home. And yet they’d be extinguished once the red sunrise clad the city, the reminiscence of which was already tainting the pale roof above with pink hues; suffocating the stars.

He knew he always spent too much time in his own head, and still he crawled back into the whirling thoughts as Dan’s snoring head fell from his shoulder onto his chest. Their breaths rose on beat.

What if she didn’t like the name he had been partially responsible of choosing? What if she ran the other way or refused to speak to them? What if she never got out of that ‘awkward’ stage the adoption centre’s employees had told them was common with children? What if she rejected him, or having two dads at all?

Okay, Phil knew that last one was probably stupid, considering the child had not only spent its whole life being taught rather neutral values, but also because their soon to be daughter was barely three years old. 

Still the sweat ran on, his forehead clamming and his hands gliding apart from Dan’s at the lack of friction. Why did he have to be over his head on such a happy day? 

That spark of happiness was still glowing strong within his shaky ribcage, and all Phil could hope was that it’d burst into a beautiful flame, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, once they reached their destination.

Hope. He’d have to keep a tight grip on it, if not for Ellie and Ellie alone.

⁂

The giggles that escaped Ellie’s mouth shattered the glass box of fears Phil’d been keeping rather decently intact in his mind. Her arms fumbled and flailed about, and the warmth her little body brought to him as he cradled her against his chest was astonishing.

“Papa!” she kept on laughing, tongue poking out her mouth. Her words got louder and louder with each syllable. “Papa, dada, papa! My papa. My dada.”

Unsure of when his cheeks had begun to get stained by tears, he laughed too, and ignored them instead of wiping them away. 

Through his half-blindness he could see the wide, pearlescent grin on his husband’s face, the dimple ever visible. Based on the nerve-wracking sobs that broke the silent gaps between Ellie’s giggles he could be sure he wasn’t the only one crying. Light reflected in his deep brown irises, shining outwards with a beautiful, kind, warm honey glow.

If Phil had ever though Dan could become any prettier in his eyes, he would have never guessed that would have been now.

“Ellie..” he found himself mumbling into her frizzy hair. “Ellie, would you like to say hi to dada too?”

Her big, wide eyes found his, a glimmer circling within as she fell quiet for a few seconds.

“My dada!”

“Yes, yes. Your dada.” he found himself responding, smile growing painfully big. “Here, Dan. Take her.”

As soon as they had traded spots, and Dan had begun to rock Ellie back and forth as he swayed, cooing at her, Phil felt the tears building back up again. 

This time, however, there was a spike of jealousy and uncomfortableness prodding into his back. Gosh, he felt dumb, but the lump in his throat wouldn’t yet go away, and he was getting irritated at it. Why would he even worry about anything if she had clearly taken well to the both of them already?

He just had to know though, so he stepped closer to his husband and child, one hand barely grazing his shoulder.

And yet Dan beat him to the question, sensing the worry by the mere aura he projected; in the way he held himself; the slight offness present in his presence. “Ellie?”

“Mmh?”

“Do you love dada?”

“I love dada!”

Dan gasped as she threw her arms violently around his neck, and then chuckled as she repeated the words once more into the crook above his collarbone. Phil felt like he could cry again, though now he was unsure of the reason.

“Then, Ellie, do you love papa?”

Unexpectedly, the little girl then turned away from the source of the voice she was cradling, her all-knowing gaze locking with the stoic poise he was trying to uphold.

“I. Love. Papa!” Ellie shrieked, practically knocking Dan backwards as she attempted to fling herself out of his grasp. They barely caught her between them, and had to huddle together to keep her upright, because she wouldn’t let go of her papa but he hadn’t been coordinated enough to catch her completely.

“I love papa.” she repeated, while climbing over as best as she could into his arms. “I love  _ my _ papa.”

_ Oh _ .

Phil could feel the warm squeeze of Dan’s hand on his arm, the way it tickled his skin and spread like a ripple through his body. He saw his beautiful smiling face through tears and over Ellie’s head, and all the fears had dissipated. Somewhere behind them Martyn’s laughter rang out, sounding distant.

He needn’t hold tight on hope. 

Hope, like Dan and Ellie held on to him, would.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated


End file.
